Alan.... I almost don't know where to begin. At the beginning?? NO that is too hard. How about the end? Wait I don't like the ending.. :( NO matter how I slice it this is hard thing for me.
Alan was so strong and he fought so hard. I am SO glad I got to see him before he left us.
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It was really hard seeing him in the hospital struggling with his health.
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I wish I new he was sick before I went to Europe, I would have given him huge hug. I know he knows that now.
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I am proud to say that I was there for him in him in his time of need I stood by that bed and held his hand.
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I was there
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Some days are hard for me and I just cry for him. but there have been blessings from this.
I know how can she say that?? Well trust me I know Alan fulfilled his purpose on this earth. Do I like it?? NO
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My husband is being my rock and my foundation to lean on. My family has gotten stronger because our trials. But I still want it to go away....
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It won't!
Alan I love you.
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Ashley, you've done a lovely job of capturing the conflicting emotions of loss. The contradictions of gratitude and regret are so true. I know I'm grateful for all the time the family spent together at the hospital, for the chance Alex had to put being a brother and a son first. I know from our talks and your post that you will keep Alan present here with your love for and memories of him, which will help all of us. When I read your story about you two in the back seat, I suddenly pictured my own kids stuffed in the back with luggage where--thanks to you--they can think,"Ahhh! We're just like Uncle Alan and Ashley back here!" That's priceless to me.
ReplyDeleteLove you, Ashley.
Thanks Kate! I have been meaning to write in my blog about Alan I just don't want to. I did the best I could today with what I wanted to say and I know as time goes on It will be easier for me share with others.
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